PRACTICAL HELP FOR TRYING TIMES

All of the things that seemed so sure just a few weeks ago have been tossed into a hurricane of uncertainty. Like many of you, I am grasping to find a new “normal”, as it changes by the hour. Lives have been upended on a global scale and there is a certain level of trauma in that. 

As someone who has navigated lots of trauma, both my own and the trauma of others, I want to share the things that I believe will help us in these trying times.

I am also sharing a link to a guide with a JACKPOT of community resources for LA County.  

HUMOR IS SAVING MY LIFE RIGHT NOW

Humor can be therapeutic. This is why some of the funniest people I know are trauma survivors. Humor helps us process and cope with our grief and trauma. Laughter produces endorphins that help us feel better. My friends and I have been spending as much time sharing funny memes as we have news updates. 

This particular post and comment thread has had me in stitches! For the record, one of my coworkers screamed at me every time I focused on something other than him. But he also told me he loves me several times. My other coworker did a week’s worth of work in a day and a half and incessantly asked me what she should next.

Check out my girl Ashley Abercrombie’s post for some hilarious memes! 

SOCIAL DISTANCING, NOT SOCIAL ISOLATION

Conversations will not be cancelled. 

Relationships will not be cancelled. 

Love will not be cancelled. 

Songs will not be cancelled. 

Reading will not be cancelled. 

Self-care will not be cancelled. 

Hope will not be cancelled. 

May we lean into the good stuff that remains. ~Jamie Tworkowski

Social distancing does not have to mean social isolation. In fact, physical distancing is actually a more accurate description of what we need to practice. We need our social relationships now more than ever! Check on friends and neighbors (especially the elderly). Find ways to continue to connect. Facetime, Zoom, Group Chat, Online Support Groups and Online Therapy sessions. Whatever it takes. 

I personally LOVE the Marco Polo app for video chatting with friends! I use this with my accountability group. 

GET INFORMED, NOT OVERWHELMED

Many of us are not only isolated, we are inundated. Our news and social media feeds are filled with information (both true and false). We can care for ourselves by doing the following:

•       Limit excessive continuous exposure to the media.
•       Set boundaries around your time
•       Follow trusted and official sources like: CDC.gov, PublicHealth.LACounty.gov, LAMayor.org/Coronavirus

Speaking of staying informed, did you know that in Los Angeles, according to Mayor Garcetti, ”no landlord shall evict a residential tenant in the City of Los Angeles during this local emergency period if the tenant is able to show an inability to pay rent due to circumstances related to the COVID-19 pandemic?” Learn more here. And Public Works will not shut off or stop services (Water, Power, Trash etc.) for customers who are delinquent or behind in service or permit payments until this order is lifted. 

REDUCE AND MANAGE ANXIETY

It is difficult to function as our best selves when we are riddled with fear and anxiety. While it is important to acknowledge our emotional state, we can also take steps to ground ourselves and create an emotional landscape that is more conducive to peace and joy. 

PRACTICES 

•     Breathing (Inhale for 4 seconds, hold 4, exhale 4, repeat)
•     Meditation and Prayer
•     Journaling
•     Laughing
•     Singing
•     Puzzling, coloring, and reading
•     Create a gratitude list (Gratitude shifts our perspective and releases dopamine)
•     Exercise (releases dopamine and reduce stress)
•      Go for a drive and crank up the tunes! Or the podcast or audiobook…
•     5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique 
  • • Sit comfortably
    • Breathe Deeply
    • Name 5 things you can see
    • 4 things you can feel
    • 3 things you can hear
    • 2 things you can smell
    • 1 thing you can taste

RESOURCES 

•     Spiritual Grounding: I am LOVING the One Minute Pause App by John Eldredge. The Youversion Bible App has some great, free devotionals 
•     PTSD Assessment, Support and Tools: PTSD COACH App
•     My favorite soothing music
•      Isolation to Invitation: A 2-week guide for retreat in a time of quarantine. 
•     Helpful Article: Staying Out of Trauma Brain During Coronavirus 

FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL

 So much is beyond our control right now. It is important to stay focused on what we can control.

• Take measures to protect yourself 
• Hydrate, rest and nourish your body
• Contact your work HR department regarding work policies 
• Evaluate and adjust your finances
• Engage with people and activities that are life-giving

GET THE HELP YOU NEED 

From food, housing and transportation to health and employment, there are community resources in place to help you! Check out what is available in Los Angeles. 

If you are outside of LA County, you may try calling 211 or visiting http://www.211.org for resources near you. 

There is so much that is beyond our control right now.  This virus is wreaking havoc on our planet, but there are some things that it can’t take away from us unless we let it.  

We can still choose love, kindness, peace, thoughtfulness and generosity, whatever that looks like in our context.  

These unprecedented times bring unprecedented opportunity— to band together, love and serve each other like never before. 

PS. Please feel free to share this with anyone you think may benefit.

SUPPORT SURVIVORS THROUGH OUR EMERGENCY RELIEF FUND

$10 Essential toiletries for one woman

$35 Hope-filled care package for one woman

$50 Babysitting funds for single mothers 

$100 Assistance with groceries 

$500 Emergency financial assistance for those whose jobs have been affected 

DONATE

In case you missed it: The Sex Industry and COVID-19

WE ARE HERE FOR YOU

If you have worked in the commercial sex industry and/or have been a victim of trafficking and need some extra encouragement and support, you can sign up for a free care package and additional resources here. 

FREE DOWNLOADS

At thirteen, after being abandoned by my mother one summer and left to take care of my younger brother, I became susceptible to a relationship that turned out to be toxic, abusive, and ultimately exploitative. I eventually found myself working in a strip club at the age of nineteen, and my boyfriend became my pimp, controlling my every move and taking all of my money.

Scars and Stilettos is my stark, honest, and ultimately hopeful story of how God found me in that dark, noisy place, led me back out, and prompted me to help others who are trapped as I once was. I hope to expose the realities of the commercial sex industry and inspire hope that freedom and healing are possible for those involved.

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*Shout out to Tracy Nielsen and Monique Calderon for helping gather this info!